winter sun
by SSSRHA
Summary: In the end, Sasuke lost. [one-shot, mostly canon-compliant, Sasuke-centric]


**Sasuke Uchiha** was eight and he was alone. He didn't have a family member to take care of him, nor a family that would take him in. He had an inkling as to why—they were all scared that he was another Itachi. They feared that he would wake up one day and kill them all simply because he used to call them family. He despaired at the thought. If he had a family, even one that wasn't his flesh and blood, he would cherish them. He would honor them. He would love them.

But no one wanted Sasuke Uchiha. They wanted him, expected him, to become great, but no one was willing to help him get there. So, Sasuke stewed in agony and sorrow until, eventually, it turned to rage. Sasuke had a family, only one, and that family was dead thanks to a certain someone. Sasuke swore vengeance against his brother, for Itachi had taken the only family that would ever love him.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha **was eleven, and he was loved. The villagers adored him, praised him. They wrote him formal letters, invited him to fancy dinners, and—as disturbing as it was—pushed their daughters towards him. Sasuke looked upon it all with utter disdain. He never went to a single dinner or answered a single letter, and all the daughters received nothing but his glares. People looked at him and whispered, "Look at that brat. Look at how he takes advantage of everyone. Look at how wonderful his life is, how everyone worships the very ground he walks on, and yet he's so ungrateful."

Sasuke scowled at the thought. They wanted him to be grateful? For what? They say that they would stand by him, but where were they when he needed them? He was perfectly capable of standing on his own now. Sasuke Uchiha did not need anyone to protect him. He used to, once upon a time, but no one was there.

Sasuke Uchiha learned to take care of himself.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha** was thirteen, and he was assigned to a team. It was the team of his nightmares. There was a girl—a pretty girl, sure, but pretty didn't mean anything in their world—who looked at him with such admiration that it hurt. Sakura Haruno was going to die, he was sure of it. She was going to die an agonizing death and he wouldn't be able to stop it. Such pure feelings get you killed—Sasuke was one of the lucky ones. He had only been scarred.

There was also a boy. He was stupid, moronic, idiotic, and various other synonyms that implied he, too, would have a short shinobi career. Sasuke, however, knew that Naruto Uzumaki would die differently than their female teammate—he would die in an explosion. In agony, sure, but he would be smiling the whole time. He was just that stupid, and he was the kind of shinobi that Konoha loved. Sasuke could not, for the life of him, understand why everyone hated Naruto as much as they did. But he knows that Konoha was hypocritical in many ways, so he didn't think too much about it.

Finally, there was their leader. He was young and lazy and a bit too forced. He would look at Sakura with a look of amazement when she proved—and continued to prove—that she knew so much that it was frightening, he looked at Naruto with amusement when he came up with his utterly stupid and somehow foolproof plans, and Sasuke…

Well, he looked at Sasuke like he was a disaster waiting to happen. The first time it had happened, Sasuke was genuinely taken aback. It had been a long time since anyone had looked at him that way, and it was just as infuriating as always. Still, Kakashi Hatake was Sasuke's ticket to killing Itachi, so he stuck with him. He held in his anger at Kakashi's blatant distrust and, horrifyingly, pity.

Sasuke Uchiha lived on, a single goal in his mind.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha** was still thirteen, but he had left. He abandoned the place that he called home. He'd return a hero after killing the man who had ruined his life. He would make the world a better place. Itachi Uchiha was a man who deserved to die, and Sasuke could not understand why everyone was against this. This was his task in life, was it not? He had declared that he would kill his brother many a time, and not a single person had tried to convince him otherwise, so why the hell were they mad at him now?

No, Sasuke knew. Naruto Uzumaki was why. Sasuke did not know what the blond was thinking—he had thought that Naruto supported him. Instead, he came chasing after him, trying to drag him back. Sasuke would come home, just not yet. If he had to put a strike through his forehead protector, so be it. Sasuke Uchiha had a mission, and some boy who considered himself Sasuke's family would not stop him—even if it was Naruto.

Sasuke knew what family was. The entire world had screamed it out to him when his family had died, and when no one tried to care for him. His family was gone, cut down by the sword of a mad man. His family was his flesh and blood and the only left was a parricidal maniac. Naruto Uzumaki was not his family. Try as he might, though, Sasuke just could not explain it. Naruto kept persisting and Sasuke couldn't believe how pigheaded he was.

Naruto Uzumaki was not his family. Naruto had no family, just like Sasuke. They were both alone in this world. Sasuke had once had a family, though, and Naruto never had one. They walked different paths so far, and the paths had only briefly crossed. Sasuke tried to tell Naruto to move on, but the words never came out right. Naruto was too thick-headed to understand, anyway.

So, Sasuke Uchiha fought.

As he left the battlefield, his forehead bare, he couldn't help but remember a girl with pink hair and green eyes, begging him to stay. He promised that he would come back. Not out loud, but to himself. Sakura did not need to worry.

That was what he told himself.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha** was sixteen, and he was disgusted. It had been three years, and he expected something better. He expected Naruto Uzumaki, the boy who stood up against all odds. He expected Naruto Uzumaki, the boy who would fight tooth and nail for what he thought was right—misguided or not. He expected Naruto Uzumaki, the boy who, against all odds, never truly lost.

Instead, Sasuke got Naruto Uzumaki, begging. He got Naruto Uzumaki, nearly on his knees. He got Naruto Uzumaki, essentially surrendering.

Sasuke did not intend to return to Konoha yet, and as the weeks go by, the possibility of Konoha accepting him back got slimmer and slimmer. He had to fulfill his duty, though. The one he was given by virtue of having the name Uchiha. Sasuke Uchiha had to kill his brother, and a whining boy would not stop him.

And Sasuke found that the thought of returning to Naruto Uzumaki, a shell of his former self, was sickening.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha **was seventeen and he sat in silence. How much, he wondered, would the world take from him? To think, he had finally gotten the revenge that he wanted, finally killed the man who ended his family's days, only to learn that Itachi Uchiha wasn't a murderer. No, no, Itachi was a murderer, but so was Konoha. There was a greater evil, and evil that controlled the lesser one.

For the first time in nine years, Sasuke remembered. He remembered a brother he had forgotten he had. He remembered love and happiness and acceptance. He remembered smiles. He remembered Itachi Uchiha, his brother, not Itachi Uchiha, his enemy. But what did it matter now? Itachi Uchiha was dead.

Sasuke's thoughts turned. Why was Itachi dead? A coup. A coup that the Uchiha were going to do. And whose fault was that? The Uchiha's, or the government which drove them to it? After all, wasn't it the right of the people to speak up against tyranny? Sasuke remembered his family. Not just his mother and father and brother, he remembered cousins, aunts, uncles. There were many that wouldn't hurt a fly. They wouldn't want to rise up. They weren't even shinobi.

It dawned on Sasuke that whatever Konoha had done to get the Uchiha to rise up, it must have been bad. Terrible. And yet, Sasuke had trouble believing it. Konoha was his home. His end goal was always to return, having made the world a better place. Konoha was a wonderful place, he knew it. He lived it. But Konoha killed his family.

It seemed that even Konoha, the village of dreams, had its demons. It killed his family. For the life of him, Sasuke could not understand why Itachi would work for Konoha. What had it done for them? It had ordered the Uchiha's execution. It had ruined their lives. Why would Itachi serve Konoha so faithfully?

The truth was that Sasuke did not know. He could not comprehend Itachi's thought process. The fact remained that Konoha had destroyed him and his family. Sasuke was not naive enough to believe that it had changed, that anything had changed. Konoha wasn't the only problem, either. Kiri was famous for the bloodline purges it endured. Iwa was infamous for its harsh laws and ruthless battle tactics. Kumo was led by a man who would lose his head in a second, and Suna was constantly in one crisis or another. The entirety of the Shinobi Nations was falling apart.

How long until one of them snapped again? Until another family was murdered by the government that was supposed to protect it? How many more children would no longer have a family? How many more children would have to go through the sorrow he did?

Sasuke Uchiha knew that the violence would not stop, so he decided to put an end to it himself.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha** was seventeen, and he was dying. He had fought tooth and nail for what he believed in, for what was right, and he was still dying. There was no justice in this universe, was there? Konoha would kill him, just like it killed his family. Sasuke was defiant, but he knew his time was waning.

Through the darkness of the night, no longer illuminated by a Chidori or Rasengan, Naruto whispered, "Why, Sasuke?"

Sasuke contemplated not responding but decided against it. "Why what?"

"Why won't you come home?"

"I have no home."

"Yes," Naruto said, his voice suddenly getting a note of irritation, "you do. And it's Konoha."

"You know what Konoha did to me and my family. Why would I call it home?"

"Because that's not Konoha!" Naruto snapped, only to descend into a wheezing fit. Sasuke closed his eyes, trying to lock out how much it hurt him to hear Naruto's struggle. Finally, Naruto repeated, "That's not Konoha."

"Are you telling me that my clan isn't dead because of Konoha?"

"Your clan was planning an uprising, Sasuke."

"I know my clan," Sasuke hissed. "Most of its members wouldn't hurt a fly. I can't even imagine what Konoha could have done to make them plan a coup."

"Neither can I. I guess we both learned something about our families that we didn't know."

Bitterly, Sasuke said, "You don't have a family, Naruto."

"I do. I have Sakura and Kakashi-sensei. I have Shikamaru and Ino and Chouji. I have Hinata and Kiba and Shino. I have Iruka-sensei and Granny Tsunade. Hell, I even have Tonton. I also have you, Sasuke."

"We're not family. That's not how it works. Your family is your blood."

Through the darkness, Sasuke could vaguely make out Naruto giving him a hurt look. "You've told me a million times that you weren't my family, and it stung. But now you're telling me that I don't have any family? I don't think you understand what family is, Sasuke."

"Oh yeah? Then what is a family?"

"A family is a group of people who care about you. They would follow you to the ends of the Earth, and you would do the same for them. That is family, Sasuke. Blood has nothing to do with it."

Scowling, Sasuke said, "Well then, I lost my family the day Konoha ordered its execution."

"And I'm not saying that that was okay. I've met Itachi, Sasuke. He was a good man. He didn't deserve what he got. But he wanted you to have a family, Sasuke."

"And his dream was never realized, was it?"

"No, Sasuke. I am your family. I would follow you to the ends of the Earth— Hell, I just did! I would defend your name until the day you die, and for the rest of my life!"

"But you're trying to drag me back to the place that ruined my life."

"Konoha didn't ruin your life, Sasuke. That was power-hungry men and women who are out of power. That was done by people who saw the Uchiha as a threat."

"And you think that they won't see me as a threat now?"

"I think that you deserve a chance, and there are people in Konoha who know it. Trust me, Sasuke."

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut. "How can I trust you when you've stood against me at every turn?"

"You abandoned your village, Sasuke. You went out trying to murder someone—someone powerful. You got yourself tangled in criminal organizations and people who've done horrible things. Sasuke, have you ever thought about how it looked to me?" Naruto only heard silence, so he continued. "It looked like you were going insane. There you were, in a good place. You had people who genuinely cared about you and, all of a sudden, you run away. You do stupidly self-destructive things and then you wonder why your best friend is trying to stop you."

"I didn't do anything self-destructive."

"I'm not stupid. That curse mark did more harm than good, Sasuke. It was the same with Kurama's chakra before we worked everything out. You joined an organization that went after jinchuriki, then tried to capture one of the most experienced ones. Sasuke, you're such a moron."

"Shut up. What about my perspective, huh? What about how I felt?"

"That's the thing—you only care about how you feel! You didn't hear a thing I said, did you?"

"I heard you," Sasuke said. "So what? My feelings aren't as important as everyone else's?"

"I never said that, but have some empathy! Do you realize how much you've hurt Sakura?"

"What does she have to do with—"

"She loved you, Sasuke. She still does, too. She admired you so much! And then you tried to kill her, and me, and Kakashi. You tried to kill her family. Do you have any idea how that made her feel?"

Sasuke scowled. "I don't know what you—" But then Sasuke stopped, and he understood what Naruto was saying. His face shuttered and he nearly threw up. "Itachi," he said, "I was almost her Itachi."

"Yeah, but now look at her. She's only tried to kill you once, and that was after an emotional moment. Sasuke, Sakura is emotionally stable and happy. You know why? She hasn't pushed anyone away."

Sasuke stared, then started trembling. "But she had a family. I didn't. Mine was gone."

"So many people were supporting you—"

"No one wanted me, Naruto." Sasuke's voice broke. "Do you know how it feels? I just lost my family and no one, not the normal citizens or the power-hungry politicians, even pretended to help me. What did they do? They threw me into some house and expected me to be great."

"Sasuke—"

"I was seven, Naruto." Sasuke knew that he was crying, but he couldn't stop.

"...I know, Sasuke," Naruto whispered. "I know."

That night, Sasuke lost his dignity. His worldview was shattered once again and he knew that, when it was all over, he would suffer. But he had gained something precious, something he had always wanted—a family. So, Sasuke lost, but Sasuke was happy—happier than he had been in a decade. Sasuke wasn't a sore loser.

_**fin**_

* * *

**So. That was an odd write. I bent some of canon but, like, I hope that you enjoyed anyway. This is SSSRHA, signing out!**


End file.
